**

Noah could probably hear, but Ethan didn’t care. He sniffled and wiped a cold, wet tear from his cheek. “I’m angry, Caroline. I’m angry that you left me alone. You weren’t supposed to go first. We always joked it would be me. You made me go to the gym. I hate the gym. I hate kale. I hate drinking water.” He was almost shouting. 

He looked out over the ocean. The moon shined on the shallow swells, illuminating a path out to the horizon. Ethan looked up, but his vision was blurred by tears. “Caroline, you were the perfect mom. You raised two wonderful kids who love and miss you. You were the nicest, smartest, and most compassionate woman I ever met. You showed the kids what it meant to be honest and decent and yes, how to have fun. You made us laugh, even when you were sick. And you were a wonderful wife, friend, and lover. You gave everything you had, and I love you for it.”

He stopped and looked down. He took another deep breath. The frigid air burned his lungs, but he didn’t care. He centered himself and in a strong voice said. “And I’m…I’m sorry.” 

Ethan took another breath and wiped the tears that were now streaming down his cheeks. “You were beautiful, but you never believed me when I told you so. Not even that goddamned cancer could take that from you. You were beautiful the day I met you and you were beautiful the day you left us.”

He remained quiet for a long moment before finding his voice again. “And I still love you. Even when I wasn’t the man you thought I was, I loved you and only you. Caroline, no matter what my future, no matter who I meet or , and where I go, I will always keep you with me.” He stopped, struggling, before looking back up at his star. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Caroline, but believe me, I always loved you.” 

Ethan’s shoulders dropped, his chest slumped, and he became small. He dropped his head and closed his eyes, hoping the tears would stop. As he turned around, putting his back to the sea and that crystal-blue star, he whispered again. “I love you.” The words left his mouth before he opened his eyes and looked up. 

The moon shimmered in Noah’s eyes and in the tears that ran down Noah’s cheeks. 

Ethan let the breath escape with one last slow whisper. “I love you.”

Noah took a step forward, reached over, and wrapped his hands around Ethan’s arms, pulling him in. He never lost eye contact as he pulled Ethan close. He , closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to Ethan’s. Almost immediately, he jumped back. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry.” 

Ethan watched as Noah turned and ran from the frozen water’s edge, from the cold moonlit sand, from the overpowering star-filled heaven. He saw him run hard and fast, up the ramp to the boardwalk, and then, Noah was gone.

**